Who said it: House or Monk?

By: H&I Staff     Posted: December 4, 2018, 1:25PM
One is cantankerous, the other obsessive-compulsive. One works in a hospital, the other at crime scenes. But House and Monk have a lot in common. Both are geniuses lacking in social graces. Both are brilliant. Both iconic TV characters were inspired by Sherlock Holmes. You can also watch them both on H&I. 

They even sound somewhat alike — if you take their quotes out of context. Below, you will find a dozen quotes from the main characters in House and Monk. See if you can guess who said them!

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  1. "Don't ask if someone can give you a wipe, but ask if you can hand a wipe to someone."
  2. "I have a compromise. How about you do it, and I don't?"
  3. "Gotta go! Building full of sick people. If I hurry, maybe I can avoid them."
  4. "Unless I'm wrong, which, you know, I'm not…"
  5. "If I was kidding, I'd be dressed like you."
  6. "Sometimes, the best gift is the gift of never seeing you again."
  7. "If her DNA was off by one percentage point, she'd be a dolphin."
  8. "If I had a nickel for every time somebody said, 'You need professional help…' I'd have $2,796.45."
  9. "I'm not suicidal. I just wish I'd have never been born. There's a difference."
  10. "Patrick, I want you to pretend that your leg is a piano."
  11. "I'm not going to make food in somebody else's toaster. Unless I'm wrong, that's how the Bubonic Plague got started."
  12. "Be grateful — anywhere else in the animal kingdom, your parents would have eaten you at birth."
Who said it: House or Monk?

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